Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Saturday, 3 November 2012

Talking to Strangers Ugandan Style


In England I go for a walk because it is good exercise but also because it allows space to think and reflect. During my time in Uganda there was not a lot of space on my own so I decided to go for a walk one Sunday along the dirt roads alongside the Nile. It was a hot, sunny day so I didn’t have the problem of huge amounts of sticky mud forming part of my shoes and making my feet weigh four times more than they did at the start of the walk as they would on a rainy day.

I decided to take one road that goes to the Nile and then go back and onto the village of Bujagali Falls, which is gradually starting to be called Bujagali Lake following the recent construction of a second dam in this part of the Nile for hydro-electric generation which drowned the Falls.


Any thoughts of a quiet, reflective stroll were quickly dismissed. Firstly there is the importance of greetings and since almost everyone else is travelling by foot or bicycle or are busy in their yards in front of the house there are a lot of people to greet. I am limited to “Jambo!” (Swahili but accepted here from foreigners) or a somewhat sing-song “Hello. How are you? I am fine”. Secondly “mzungus” (white people) stand out just a little and generate a lot of excited interest from small children and most of the school age children will recognise my face at least from school “Teacher Joanne”. There are lots of children and so lots of attention. Neither of these allowed for long enough to switch off into reflecting mode.



However, when I swapped notes on my experience with a volunteer couple at the school on my return, they were surprised at just how many people had engaged me in conversation in addition to the basic greetings. On the way to the Nile Eva started walking alongside me carrying her 6 month old daughter who she said had malaria, her elder child a 3 year old girl was at a neighbour’s house. She walked me all the way down to the edge of the Nile where her mother and other family members were planting grass in a field along the banks of the river. I had been told there was a nice spot to sit and read but I quickly realised that I would be too much of a novelty to be left to read so I headed back the way I came, thanking Eva for showing me where to go, but she insisted on walking back some way with me. Her nephew Brian, who is a pupil in one of the lower years at the primary, joined us. My cynicism was waiting for the request for something, after all she had a sick baby, however I was wrong and I was just being offered friendship. Eva explained to me she had continued at school until Senior 2 until finances meant she couldn’t continue. She also pointed out several different crops to me and explained the process of cultivating beans.
Beautiful blue dragonfly that sat beside me

As we walked Anthony, the young man in one of the yards who had advised me that the river Nile wasn’t much further, came out to greet me and find out where I was from and what I did. We chatted for a while and he told me that the following day the President of Uganda was coming for the inauguration of the new hydro-electric power, which explained the helicopters we had heard overhead in the previous days. Eva explained as we walked on that Anthony’s mother had died some months earlier.

Finally Eva decided she’d come far enough with me and turned back. Shortly afterwards Brian reappeared and I realised he had been sent to give me Eva’s phone number.

A little further Fiona and Sandra, who turned out to be Primary 5 pupils greeted me and took it upon themselves to walk with me and try and teach me some Lusoga words (the local language) before inviting me to their home, which I hope I politely declined.

Having barely got 5 minutes further on my walk Aminah a Primary 3 student greeted me and we went through introductions to her younger siblings and an older sister. Aminah said she’d like a friend in England and with some extra input from her sister I came to the conclusion she may have heard about the letters that had been written to pupils in one of the volunteers schools in England and she was looking for a pen friend. By now I was close to the entrance to the restaurant I was planning to visit and after explaining I’d be in school on Monday and promising I would be passing back that way later she reluctantly allowed me to continue.

Lunch overlooking the Nile


The minute I emerged more than two hours later Aminah came running over to me calling her friend who it turned out had written me a very nice letter on her behalf, explaining that Aminah had lost her mother and she would like me to sponsor her and be her new mother and take her to my country signed “Your pen friend, Aminah”. Clearly the concept of a pen friend was a little different than mine! I tried to explain that she had all her brothers and sisters here with her and that it wasn’t very simple to just take someone to my country.

My final encounter was with a man and two women who had obviously just left their Sunday morning church service at the local “born again” church. I think that the man was the preacher and one of the women was his wife. The preacher greeted me and then immediately wanted to know if I was a Christian and if I was saved. When I replied in the affirmative he got very excited and said how God had convicted them that they assume white people are Christians and don’t check they have faith and preach the gospel to them. I was quite glad I was the only one of the 4 volunteers on the project that had this encounter as I doubt the others would have been so able to feel comfortable with it and honestly it was probably more likely to put them off God. Since we were all walking in the same direction I was part of this conversation, although a fairly quiet participant, until the pastor and his wife turned off to make an important visit. The third lady continued on which me until we reached her home and she told me about the President’s visit the next day and how she had been invited to the event along with some of the other villagers and was clearly very impressed with the President.

By the time we said “Goodbye” I was left with only 10 minutes left of my more than 2 hour walk, so I had no reflection time, but I’d met a lot of rural Ugandan friendliness. 

Saturday, 13 August 2011

Making Friends

Although my flight is not yet booked I have almost exactly two weeks left in Nicaragua, before a brief stop in the UK and then off to Asia, the great unknown for me. I'm less of an emotional mess than I was just 7 days ago, but it still seems very odd to be leaving I thought I would have been here till January. Living abroad seems to involve a great deal more goodbyes than life in your homeland, partly because our stay is never really permanent and partly because many of your friends end up being other foreigners.

Over this last year it has felt like more of my foreign friends have left than usual either for good or for long periods away. Of course new people arrive too. Over the last few months I've got to know a recently arrived South African/US couple Jacques and Amanda who have joined our church. As I explained to them I approached them due to the South Africa link, if they'd been a 100% north American couple I'd probably have assumed it was the responsibility of the north American majority of the congregation to embrace them. It seems as the only British member I've assigned myself greeting the other "minorities". With so much change in the congregation this year lately I'd found myself of thinking of ways we can try to get to know one another better. Last Sunday was the biggest new attempt yet with our normal Sunday communion service being head down on Pochomil beach on the Pacific coast about an hour from Managua, followed by food, swimming and fun. It went well but felt a little odd that it also turned out to be the occasion for me advising friends I was leaving.


Communion on the Beach, Pochomil, Nicaragua



Lunch and fun after communion service at the beach
Saying goodbye to friends and then knowing the effort required to make new friends is the hardest thing about moving countries. I know the fact I will probably only be in Asia about 6 months and will be between two countries makes this task even harder, since I already know how seemingly unreasonable it is for someone to decide to invest in being friends with me when they'll barely get to know me before it will be time to say "Goodbye." I am trying to remind myself to heed the advice I've given to Jacques and Amanda as they try to get to know people at church, that unfortunately they have to take the first step.

Couldn't help smiling at Jacques observations on how difficult it can be making friends in a new country in their newsletter this month, something he's always thought was easy. Making friends by Jacques